LOL At this rate I will *never* have the money to buy a cabin. I can't even be mad, it's my own fault. I forgot about an auto payment debit. I swear the sales girl told me auto payment was supposed to make my life easier. I digress; $100 in fees will not make or break me, so to speak. I am just frustrated with myself. When I see money being wasted I do the compound interest math in my head and determine what I could've had with it in retirement. It's a bad habit. Money comes and goes. I know I can't control it all.
I met with a lawyer today, 'my' lawyer now, I suppose. Hopefully, she can help me with the ex and we can close this matter of 'support' if you can call it that. Even after all this I know I won't be truly rid of him but we shall see. Our daughter will be in school and under my roof for about another 7 years. I'm sure he'll test my patience repeatedly. He's truly the life lesson I have to learn over and over again.
I'm looking forward to the family reunion this weekend. I can't wait to spend time Up North. I miss the trees, the water, the old buildings, the way the air smells. Air really does smell differently around water. Fresh water does, anyway. Its watery smell reminds of summer and being a carefree kid. I hear it's even supposed to be in the 80's while were there, how wonderful!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Day 2 Lawyers *ack*
Only day two and I’ve had my first set back (financially). I received a notice in the mail informing me of a court date requested by the ex to lower the child support payment. I wonder why he would bother since he hasn't paid me the court ordered amount since, well, ever. Also, he our daughter 5 figures in back payments and didn't show up to the last support hearing or the divorce proceedings. I called a lawyer and she quoted me $1500 for her retainer (gotta love the legal process, perhaps I’m in the wrong business). Now we shall call his bluff to pay less support with raised bet of contempt of court. There's talk of hiring a private detective to determine where/how he makes his money and what he does with it. This could get juicy. I don't expect to see any more money out of him but I just can't let him get away with being obligated to pay less or nothing at all without a fight. Perhaps I am just being bitter. We shall see.
On a positive note, business is going well for the BF and me. I paid off a credit card and cancelled it so I'm not tempted to spend (instead of save for the cabin). Now we each have only 1 card just for emergencies. This is a step in the right direction and could potentially save us more than what I’ll end spending on the lawyer (in the long run). Maybe it's not such a negative day after all. I suppose it's all about perspective.
I continue to search for properties on line. I'll be taking a trip up north this weekend for a family reunion so I'll try to have a look around at land as time allows.
The more I research the more I talk myself into early retirement when we move. Perhaps it might make more sense to plan on having a job and see how important that money is to our budget when we've lived in the area for a while. Right now I’m weighing the pros and cons of how much it 'costs' to work. First, I think about the cons; the price of gas and a 2nd car, the clothes, the lunches and the inevitable stress. I consider these aspects against the pluses; outside human contact/possible friends made, purpose/a reason to get out of bed in the a.m., benefits and, of course, the money. There is not a clear cut winner yet between these two lists. I hope my path becomes clearer as time goes on.
On a positive note, business is going well for the BF and me. I paid off a credit card and cancelled it so I'm not tempted to spend (instead of save for the cabin). Now we each have only 1 card just for emergencies. This is a step in the right direction and could potentially save us more than what I’ll end spending on the lawyer (in the long run). Maybe it's not such a negative day after all. I suppose it's all about perspective.
I continue to search for properties on line. I'll be taking a trip up north this weekend for a family reunion so I'll try to have a look around at land as time allows.
The more I research the more I talk myself into early retirement when we move. Perhaps it might make more sense to plan on having a job and see how important that money is to our budget when we've lived in the area for a while. Right now I’m weighing the pros and cons of how much it 'costs' to work. First, I think about the cons; the price of gas and a 2nd car, the clothes, the lunches and the inevitable stress. I consider these aspects against the pluses; outside human contact/possible friends made, purpose/a reason to get out of bed in the a.m., benefits and, of course, the money. There is not a clear cut winner yet between these two lists. I hope my path becomes clearer as time goes on.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Day 1
This is the story of the path to my goal, my cabin in the north woods, returning back to where my family and ancestors are from, coming full circle. I can see it clearly in my head and I spend hours Googling potential properties looking for the perfect place to retire (or at least semi-retire). I envision a life of quiet, of nature, of few distractions. I dream of working from home (if at all), planting a garden and 'getting away' from the hum of metro life. This near obsession takes up a lot of free time as I read about the people who have persevered in the sometimes frigid wilderness before me. Their stories inspire me to become more natural, more independent and to preserve the environment that is left. I try to keep in perspective their warning of the cold, the wild, the isolation but it's like a siren song to me. These aspects appear more like positives than hindrances but I suppose it's all about perception. These are the dreams I hope to flesh out over the next decade or so and make reality.
I suppose at this point I should point out that my life, as it is now, is a good one. I have a beautiful child and a loving boyfriend. We own a humble and pleasant suburban home in a quaint neighborhood which I do enjoy. Our jobs pay well; we drive new(er) cars and are free from debt. We have great relationships and good health, all the things a person could ask for. So why leave? All this comes with a price that, as I get older (LOL I know, I'm 33 and that's a relative statement) is higher than I want to pay. Fighting commuters every morning, corporate posturing in meetings all day as we stab each other in the back, nights often so tired and frustrated it can be hard to enjoy what I worked all day for. Why? So we can afford cable, cell phones, and closets full of clothes and shoes and electronics? To me, this feels like an empty struggle to accumulate all these things we 'need' when we'll soon discard them anyway because they're obsolete or used up. I had to stop and think to myself, 'Why AM I working so hard? Is it simply to own all the possessions?' I had an answer for myself more quickly than I would've imagined for such an important question. It was for the comfort of knowing I could have 'things' when I needed and wanted without waiting. I am afraid of being caught unable to provide for myself or my family’s needs and wants. Knowing this, I had 2 options laid before me. Focus specifically on making money or reduce my list of wants. The obvious choice for me was to reduce. This is due, in part, to the next biggest personal need I require in order to be happy, personal freedom. I want to spend my time the way I want and with whom. Also, reducing speaks to the nature lover in me who shudders when I sort my garbage wondering how the 3 of us consume so much.
All this leads me to my current day dream I've been having regarding escaping to a place where life slows down. How can you worry about what kind of cell phone you have or how much the plan costs when there is no reception? Ditto for cable/satellite. Everyone with a modicum of sense drives a truck/AWD vehicle and dresses for the weather and comfort. I can kick off my heals, slip into a pair of hiking boots and never look back. I know there are obvious draw backs to what I have outlined in my head. The snow and ice cause damage and all sorts of other untoward issues. Wild animals, although they may seem funny in movies, really can cause a lot of damage or even personal injury. The inconvenience of having civilization (Hospitals!) located so far away will be challenging, to say the least. I do fully expect there to be many days along my way where I will be caught unprepared and very angry with myself. There is always a period of adjustment with any change. I am ready to meet it head on.
I suppose at this point I should point out that my life, as it is now, is a good one. I have a beautiful child and a loving boyfriend. We own a humble and pleasant suburban home in a quaint neighborhood which I do enjoy. Our jobs pay well; we drive new(er) cars and are free from debt. We have great relationships and good health, all the things a person could ask for. So why leave? All this comes with a price that, as I get older (LOL I know, I'm 33 and that's a relative statement) is higher than I want to pay. Fighting commuters every morning, corporate posturing in meetings all day as we stab each other in the back, nights often so tired and frustrated it can be hard to enjoy what I worked all day for. Why? So we can afford cable, cell phones, and closets full of clothes and shoes and electronics? To me, this feels like an empty struggle to accumulate all these things we 'need' when we'll soon discard them anyway because they're obsolete or used up. I had to stop and think to myself, 'Why AM I working so hard? Is it simply to own all the possessions?' I had an answer for myself more quickly than I would've imagined for such an important question. It was for the comfort of knowing I could have 'things' when I needed and wanted without waiting. I am afraid of being caught unable to provide for myself or my family’s needs and wants. Knowing this, I had 2 options laid before me. Focus specifically on making money or reduce my list of wants. The obvious choice for me was to reduce. This is due, in part, to the next biggest personal need I require in order to be happy, personal freedom. I want to spend my time the way I want and with whom. Also, reducing speaks to the nature lover in me who shudders when I sort my garbage wondering how the 3 of us consume so much.
All this leads me to my current day dream I've been having regarding escaping to a place where life slows down. How can you worry about what kind of cell phone you have or how much the plan costs when there is no reception? Ditto for cable/satellite. Everyone with a modicum of sense drives a truck/AWD vehicle and dresses for the weather and comfort. I can kick off my heals, slip into a pair of hiking boots and never look back. I know there are obvious draw backs to what I have outlined in my head. The snow and ice cause damage and all sorts of other untoward issues. Wild animals, although they may seem funny in movies, really can cause a lot of damage or even personal injury. The inconvenience of having civilization (Hospitals!) located so far away will be challenging, to say the least. I do fully expect there to be many days along my way where I will be caught unprepared and very angry with myself. There is always a period of adjustment with any change. I am ready to meet it head on.
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